If you ask my youngest son today, he’ll tell you with a straight face that he loves crab. If you ask a room full of people at church on Sunday, most will tell you they love Jesus.
But there’s a deeper question underneath both statements: what do we actually mean by “love”?
It turns out we have a habit of “loving” things only after we’ve shaped them to suit our own tastes.
A Determined Appetite
Ten years ago, my family vacationed on the coast of Washington state. My son, eleven at the time, became determined to catch and eat a Dungeness crab. After some help from locals and a few failed attempts, we finally pulled up a pot with two beautiful crabs. He was thrilled. He had caught his dinner.
But as we cleaned and prepared the crab, his confidence started to fade. The shells, the smell, the effort, it was all more real than he expected.
What We Really Taste
Then came the taste test.
“I hate crab.”
We tried melted butter. No luck. Finally, he made a desperate request: ketchup. After some resistance (and strong opinions from his grandfather), we gave in. He took a bite, smiled, and declared, “I love crab!”
He doesn’t love crab. He loves ketchup.
And that raises a harder question for us: do we love Jesus as He actually is, or a version of Him we’ve seasoned to match our preferences?
In the Gospel of John 6, the crowds followed Jesus eagerly until His teaching became difficult. When He refused to be the kind of king they wanted, many turned back. They didn’t hate Jesus. They just preferred a different version of Him.
The Jesus We Consign
We are not so different today.
We often try to recruit Jesus to our side, our politics, our priorities. The instinct to recruit Jesus to our political cause or our social “team” is a way of handing Him a bottle of our preferred condiment. But this is how distortion begins, not just disagreement, but reshaping Jesus in the image of our own “team.” It’s one of the subtle ways toxic polarization takes root even in the church.
- The Zealots wanted a revolutionary to overthrow Rome.
- The Pharisees wanted a culture warrior to draw sharper lines.
- The Herodians wanted a pragmatist to work the system.
Jesus refused them all. He would not be conscripted.
When we try to make Jesus the divine endorser of our party, our platform, or our personal lifestyle, it’s often a sign that we’ve stopped listening to Him and started using Him.
The uncomfortable reality is that Jesus has a habit of comforting the people our politics dismiss and disrupting the people our politics empower.
Coming to the Table Empty-Handed
The Jesus of the Gospels is simultaneously more tender and more disruptive than the version most of us have constructed. He is full of grace and truth—not one at the expense of the other. He welcomes the weary, but He also overturns the tables. You cannot cover that Jesus with enough condiment to make Him merely “agreeable” to your partisan desires.
The family joke is that at twenty-one, my son still won’t eat crab without ketchup. It’s a funny story for a dinner party, but it’s a dangerous way to live a faith.
My prayer is that we stop trying to make Jesus palatable and instead allow Him to make us holy. Let’s come to the table without the condiments and allow the real Jesus to shape our hearts.
Dean Kuest
This is not a typical bio I would use to introduce myself to strangers, but ministry is often where we present our best on the “front stage” and hide the dirt “backstage.” Like social media, it is easy to produce the stuff that makes us look great, but I long for relationships that are real…so here is my “honest” bio.
I am a husband of 33 years to my beautiful wife, Leslie. I am a pastor and a PK who raised five PKs (all boys). I am now Pops to five grandchildren (four girls in there – finally). I have a great relationship with my parents and my boys. I’m so proud of each of them.
I am an example of failure—I have put my work above my wife for many years. I have never had an affair, but the church has been my mistress at times. Leslie has been gracious, and we have worked through those wounds and scars. We are an example of perseverance, and I am so grateful for the love we nurture.
I was blessed to be rooted in one church in the Phoenix area for 25 years. I was blessed to be uprooted and lead a church plant in the Seattle area for eight years. I have climbed the ladder of leadership in an exceptionally large church. And I have been humbled by a complete loss of confidence at the end of my time in Seattle.
I sought help and learned several things about myself.
I tried to do everything myself and had poor stress management.
I have ADD and need strategies and medication to deal with it.
I had a hormone imbalance that contributed to my anxiety.
Thirteen years later, I continue to learn about those strategies and how to tap into the support I need.
I was one of the original nine pastors who met together in 2018 to dream the dream that has become the Matthew 5:9 Fellowship. I am passionate about the Gospel, the love and grace of Jesus, and I long to be a peacemaker in a polarized world. I have learned to be honest about what God has gifted me to do and where my abilities fall short.
I like to build and create. I don’t like to maintain. I have always had great people skills, but I am a poor administrator and event organizer. I lead with grace because I know I have needed it throughout my life and ministry. I am not always good at giving myself grace because I have a VERY LOUD inner critic who is very opinionated and always self-effacing. I am a gifted coach and mentor and connect well with younger generations of pastors.
I would love to come alongside you as a coach. As a reminder, the first session is free, and the Matthew 5:9 Fellowship will pay for two more.
Shoot me an email if that is something you would like to explore.
